I have used more song lyrics this year, in an attempt to broaden the choice of message as well as medium. In any case, I've tried to present a very great range of poetic expression.
And so, for my next-to-last poetry post this year, I present an old favorite of Dr. Demento's:
Shaving Cream
I have a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked into my bathroom
I stepped in a pile of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
I think I'll break off with my girlfriend
Her antics are queer I'll admit
Each time I say, 'Darling, I love you'
She tells me that I'm full of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
Our baby fell out of the window
You'd think that her head would be split
But good luck was with her that morning
She fell in a barrel of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
An old lady died in a bathtub
She died from a terrible fit
In order to fulfill her wishes
She was buried in six feet of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
When I was in France with the army
One day I looked into my kit
I thought I would find me a sandwich
But the darn thing was loaded with ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
And now, folks, my story is ended
I think it is time I should quit
If any of you feel offended
Stick your head in a barrel of ...
Shaving cream, be nice and clean.
Shave everyday and you'll always look keen.
– Benny Bell
Like all true campfire classics, this one exists in multiple versions. Here's the good Doctor himself performing Shaving Cream accompanied by Weird Al Yankovic and his band. Oy.