aefenglommung (aefenglommung) wrote,
aefenglommung
aefenglommung

Today's History Lesson

CHAPTER III

THE CONVERSION OF ENGLAND
Noticing some fair-haired children in the slave market one morning, Pope Gregory, the memorable Pope, said (in Latin), "What are those?" and on being told that they were Angels, made the memorable joke -- "Non Angli, sed Angeli" (not Angels, but Anglicans") and commanded one of his Saints called St. Augustine to go and convert the rest.

The conversion of England was thus effected by the landing of St. Augustine in Thanet and other places, which resulted in the country being overrun by a Wave of Saints. Among these were St. Ive, St. Pancra, the great St. Bernard (originator of the clerical collar), St. Bee, St. Ebb, St. Neot (who invented whisky), St. Kit and St. Kin, and the Venomous Bead (author of The Rosary).

England was now divided into seven kingdoms and so ready were the English to become C. of E. that on one memorable occasion a whole Kingdom was easily converted by a sparrow.

WAVE OF EGG-KINGS

Soon after this event Egg-Kings were found on the thrones of all these kingdoms, such as Eggberd, Eggbreth, Eggfroth, etc. None of them, however, succeeded in becoming memorable -- except in so far as it is difficult to forget such names as Eggbirth, Eggbred, Eggbeard, Eggfilth, etc. Nor is it even remembered by what kind of Eggdeath they perished.

-- W.C. Sellar & R.J. Yeatman, 1066 and all that, Copyright, 1931, by E.P. Dutton & Co, Inc.
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