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Monday, February 6th, 2017

Time Event
9:11a
Not quite the same thing
My friend Taylor was looking for clipart to teach the concept of reconciliation. She wasn't finding what she was looking for. Switching to "apology," she found a Certificate of Formal Apology. Which reminded me of these things, the size of a Post-It note, which I designed and had made up for me when I was a Camp Director. To give to certain people. Yeah, I know it's not quite the same thing. But still.



Official Sympathy Chit
10:12a
Decisions, decisions
I argued with myself for months, gnawing on the decision like a dog worrying over a bone. Deanne and I talked it over again and again, as if we were working a complicated math problem that kept giving us the same answer that didn't make sense. Personal goals, family needs, personal health, professional relationships, finances: so many factors are involved. And you really can't talk it over with everybody, can't ask for advice beyond the most intimate of circles.

Finally, I resolved to pull the trigger. That said, writing the powers that be of my intent was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Immediately after that came a great peace. I felt like the girl in The Departure of Dindrane, who after long anguish trying to make up her mind over an opportunity given her, has come to a decision:
'. . . write
that now I am quits with those two jangling bits.
They only can do it with my lord who can do it without him,
and I know he will have about him only those.'
But then came the grief. And the telling. And the second-guessing: What have I done? And once again, as so often before, you work the problem over: personal goals, family needs, personal health, professional relationships, finances. And still the answer is the same. You just aren't guaranteed to always be happy with it. But I believe that when you do the right thing, the decision will re-confirm itself in the living out of the decision.

And so, I stood up before God and everybody yesterday and announced that I will retire from the full-time ministry this summer.

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