December 4th, 2007

speed limit

The way to inner peace*

Calmness in Our Lives

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished". So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Vodka, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.


*Courtesy of Phred
xmas cats

The Joys of Tourette's

I get out my top hat to wear during December. I was wearing it to a choir concert at the local high school Sunday evening. One guy trying to be funny said to me, "Do you have a rabbit under that hat?" To which I replied, without thinking, "Of course. It keeps my head warm."