Ruminations on the Self
Something in the air? the water? the time of year? I dunno, but several of my LJ friends are undergoing great Angst right now, changing their LJ usernames, going "friends-only," or otherwise re-inventing themselves. Maybe it's because I'm a relative newcomer to LJ that I don't feel this tug. But then, I was pretty much a finished product when I signed on -- maybe it's just that I'm older, and I've been through various crises of identity before, and am comfortable with who I am nowadays. I dunno, but it's still odd and unsettling.
Of course, I'm sure it's more
unsettling to be one of those with the itch to change. That's uncomfortable, for sure. But it can also be highly productive, if one is open to whatever God might bring into one's life.
I'm going through a big change too, or will be soon. I wonder how that'll affect my LJ. Should I tell people up front I have a weblog, and let them "check me out?" Or should I play it cool, and only tell the people who might groove on it? I haven't exactly hidden my LJ activity from my current appointment, but they knew me pretty thoroughly before I started, and so have been largely uninterested in my posts. It might be different with a new congregation full of computer-literate people wondering what the new preacher's opinions are. I'll have to think about it.
But I know who I am, and what my call is. If somebody finds something I've written on theology or church, I'm ready to own up to it, even if they disagree with me. And I haven't posted anything too off the wall on-line, so even if I'd prefer to make my first impression face-to-face, I wouldn't really disown anything I've said here. So, I guess I'll just stick to being me, and hope that I am well received where I am going. It's too late to worry over trying to be someone else. For better or for worse, this is who I've turned out to be.