July 31st, 2005


A mind is a terrible thing to waste -- oops, too late

I was heading into Wal-Mart last Friday night (and by the way, small town ministry is immeasurably aided by going to Wal-Mart on Friday night -- you're sure to run into somebody you've been meaning to talk to), and there in the parking lot was this car. A parochial school sticker was on one corner of the back window, and on the other corner was a sticker that read,
I [heart] the Old Latin Mass.

It made me think: how about writing a hymn with that theme to the tune of "The Old Rugged Cross?"
To the Old Latin Mass, I will ever be true,
No English translation will do.
I hold onto my hope that some future day Pope
Will return us to 1502.

So I'll cherish the Old Latin Mass,
from my place in my parish church nave.
I will cling to the Old Latin Mass,
Till they carry me off to my grave.

Others are welcome to add verses or rewrite my (rather limp) chorus.

EDIT: Since the Council of Trent adjourned in 1563, I suppose the verse, above, should be "return us to 1602," though 1802 or 1902 would do just as well.

The death of classical education at last

Astronomers claiming to have found the 10th planet in our solar system want to name it -- are you ready? -- Xena, after the TV warrior princess.

I guess they ran out of Latin and Greek gods and demigods naming all those asteroids or something. Still, one would hope for a major personality in classical mythology for something purporting to join the company of Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. If we've run out of anthropomorphic powers from the classical mythos, how about the deified qualities of a Roman numen? Like, say, Pax? Or, Libertas? For that matter, Ops hasn't been taken so far as I know. Among anthropomorphic types, there's Epimetheus. And Tithonus. And Minos. But XENA?

Take me to a vomitorium; gag me with a spoon.