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Monday, July 25th, 2005

Time Event
9:33p
When NATIONAL LAMPOON gets hold of DESIDERATA
DETERIORATA

Go placidly amid the noise and the waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself & heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss & when.

Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment & despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle & mutilate.

Know yourself; if you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you — that lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; & let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 555–4311; ask for Ken. Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese; & reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.

You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, & whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive Him to be — Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises, & urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up.
11:51p
On the front lines
Four Scout leaders from Alaska were killed today in an electrical mishap at the National Scout Jamboree at Fort A.P. Hill, Virginia. Yesterday, a Scout leader from North Carolina at the event collapsed and died from an apparent heart attack.

The Jamboree is (temporarily) the sixth largest city in Virginia. Despite all the attendees being certified reasonably healthy and (mostly) young, things happen in that size of gathering. Though FIVE deaths by opening day is more than I've ever heard of before.

And the chaplains -- of every denomination and religion -- that minister to the Jamboree community are all over this situation, I'm sure. I've been in that situation before. I am proud of the people The UMC sent; I know others have sent their best, too.

In times of grief, of homesickness, of confusion -- and in times of joy and faith -- the chaplains are on the job. In 1993, as a Sub-Camp Chaplain, I never worked so hard and so long -- or to such great effect. In 1997, as Head UM Chaplain, in addition to leading other chaplains, I helped (in a small way) in ministering to those affected by a young man's death in a traffic accident.

Pray for the Scouts and Scouters and visitors at the Jamboree. And hold the chaplains up in prayer. After all, it might be one of your Scouts whom they are counseling or praying with this week.

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