May 23rd, 2005

welsh dragon

A great place to be from

An old professor of mine in seminary had a favorite place for all his bizarre examples to hail from: the fictional (?) town of Dismal Seepage, Alabama.

We have a lot of odd names for real places here in Indiana, but inventing names for towns that just ought to be has always been near and dear to my heart. For example:

Stinkwater, Oklahoma;
Oschidt, Wyoming;
Gamy Bottoms, Missouri.

Then of course, there are the fantasy towns I have made up for many an AD&D campaign and fantasy novel, including:

the subarctic port of Brass Monkey;
the seedy outlaws' den Ratsnest;
the bewildering, ever-confusing castle Polyphant Hall.

Anybody else out there come up with a particularly satisfying fictional place? for the real world or a made-up one?

Udder nonsense

In the convenience store where I got gas today, there was a display of "Mad Cow" lighters on the counter. Each cigarette lighter was in the form of a disgruntled looking black-and-white cow, which shot twin flames out of her mouth when you struck the flint.

Reminds me of that old, tender love song from summer camp:
We walked the lane together,
the sky was full of stars.
We reached the gate in silence,
I lifted up the bars.
She turned her dark eyes to me,
there was nothing between us now;
but I was just a hired hand,
and she was a Jersey cow.

Wonder what they'd do with a pig? And which end would it shoot flame out of?