May 13th, 2005

hound of heaven

A public service for all preachers: Pentecost Joke

Three bewildered souls found themselves at the entrance to heaven, standing before a large desk. It had a red button on a console in the middle of the desktop. Behind the desk sat a very stern-looking angel.

"Now then," said the angel, "St. Peter's busy. We've had such a crush of business, we haven't been able to keep up with the demand. So to slow down admissions, we've instituted a basic test of Christian knowledge to enter heaven. Ready?"

The three souls shrugged.

"You, sir," the angel said to the first soul. "What happened on Christmas?"

"That's easy," said the first soul, "Santa came down the chimney and put gifts in the good boys' and girls' stockings!"

The angel pressed the red button -- BUZZ -- and a hole appeared in the clouds immediately beneath the first soul. In a blink, he was gone.

"Where did he go?" one of the other souls asked.

"Never mind," said the angel with a scowl. "Just pay attention. You -- number two, there: What happened on Christmas?"

Shifting nervously on his feet, the second soul answered, "Uh, Jesus was born in Bethlehem?"

The angel beamed at him. "That's right!" he said. "So, then: What happened on Easter?"

The second soul visibly relaxed. "Oh, that's when the Easter bunny delivered colored eggs in a basket." BUZZ went the red button, and there was now only a single soul standing before the angel's desk. That soul looked very worried. The angel looked very annoyed.

"Let's take it from the top," said the angel. "What happened on Christmas?"

"Jesus was born in Bethlehem."

"Right. And what happened on Easter?" The angel's finger strayed toward the red button.

"Jesus rose from the dead." said the last soul.

"Verrry good," said the angel. "Last question: What happened on Pentecost?"

The poor soul looked stumped for a moment, then enlightenment crossed his face. "I have it: Jesus came out of the tomb and saw his shadow, and we had six more weeks of winter!"