March 7th, 2005



Well, I'm back from Nashville. Had a meeting-a-thon for NAUMS (National Association of United Methodist Scouters). Lots of good stuff, lots of boring stuff, mostly just way too much stuff. We did a year's business in a day and a half. I got in last night (or rather, this morning) at 1:30 a.m. I'm basically frazzled.

Worship at The Upper Room was good, though. I needed that. The message was particularly apt for me, the communion was lovely, and I enjoyed the company in my pew. Initially, I was thinking of just punting (not going). After all, I was out of town, tired, no responsibilities. A day off from church might have seemed in order. I went mostly from peer pressure and boredom (everybody else is going, and there's nothing else to do). And God met me there. Even in a perfect world, said CS Lewis, there would be a little of the natural resistance to God to be overcome -- though there, overcoming it would be a delight, not a debate.

Well, much to do, much to do.

Scouting the Web

The National Association of United Methodist Scouters is looking for a new Webmaster. This is a volunteer (unpaid) position. Our current and founding webmaster is looking to step down. The site is located at

Duties include site maintenance, regular updates, posting new stuff referred from NAUMS (and also, The Office of CYSA/Scouting and GCUMM) in a timely fashion. Webmaster must be web-literate, with a good eye for design and some knowledge of HTML. Webmaster should be careful in posting material that might be copyrighted. Webmaster must be a dependable person with the right knowledge base (or able to acquire it) and good references (preferably with previous involvement in UM scouting). Webmaster must be a person of good character as well, able to achieve and sustain membership in any of the organizations with which we work.

Knowledge base includes The United Methodist Church (UMC) and its use of Civic Youth-Serving Agencies (BSA, GSUSA, 4-H, Camp Fire) in ministry to children and youth; The National Association of United Methodist Scouters (NAUMS) and its relation to The General Commission on United Methodist Men (GCUMM) and GCUMM's Office of CYSA/Scouting. Personal participation in UMC, one of the 4 CYSAs, and NAUMS major pluses.

If interested, reply to (not through the e-mail link on the site!), giving details of your interest and background.

This announcement has been x-posted to venturing, _philmont_, and methodism.

Sign of the times

Somewhere south of Louisville, as I was heading north toward the River, I saw a huge billboard on I-65. It read,
"Done while you wait"

Well, duh. Did you think you could just drop your butt off and say, "Put a tiger on that, and I'll come back for it in an hour?"

Going down . . .

General asshats, Parents who bring squalling brats to R-rated movies, The New York Yankees
Circle I Limbo

Bores, People who use cell phones while they're having lunch with you
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

People who get promoted after screwing up, Militant Vegans
Circle IV Rolling Weights

George Stephanopoulos, Hillary Clinton
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

PETA Members
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Jacques Chirac, Scientologists
Circle VII Burning Sands

Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Re-imagining Movement
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell


Me and Dr. B.

So I stomped into the department office one day, snorting fire about somebody or other. Dr. Buethe said, "Now Art, it takes all kinds." To which I replied, sulfurously, "No, it doesn't. There are some kinds we can do without."

Another time, I was grumped about all the hassles I was currently dealing with. "Life is just one [blankety-blank] thing after another," I said. Kindly old Dr. Buethe -- one semester from retirement -- replied, "No, Art; life is THE SAME [blankety-blank] thing over and over."

Heard at the meeting . . .

So there was this old boy who decided to build himself a pond, just for pleasure. He picked a secluded spot on the farm, laid out an attractive bed, planted flowering trees all around it, and even brought in fine white sand to make a little beach. He put up an ornamental bench where he could sit and watch the birds. He called his special place his "oasis."

One day, up at the house, he heard some strange, high-pitched sounds coming from over the hill. So he told his wife that it sounded like an animal had gotten loose and was over by the pond, and he'd better go and check it out.

When he came up over the little dam and could take in the scene at the pond, the first thing he noticed was some young women sunbathing on his beach. They were very scantily clad. Not to put too fine a point on it, they were stark naked. As he approached, they all shrieked and ran into the water.

The man walked slowly over to his bench and sat down, giving him a beautiful view of the heads of the various girls bobbing in the water. (They were all being very careful to expose themselves only from the chin up.) "Go away!" they said. "We can't come out until you leave!"

The man said, "Oh, don't worry about me, ladies. I'm just here to feed the alligator."