As I mull over what the life of the Annual Conference should look like in a new denomination, I pause to examine the organized frustration which was/is United Methodist Men. As a sometime wheel of moderate size in Methodist Scouting, I was involved for many years with UMM. As President of NAUMS, I even spent four years as one of 25 Directors of GCUMM. As I neared the end of that experience, I said to those who knew me well, “I used to think that while GCUMM might know a lot about Men’s ministry, they sure didn’t know much about Scouting ministry; now, after four years on the GCUMM Board, I can honestly say they don’t know much about Men’s ministry, either.” UMM is a tiny remnant of die-hard leaders desperately trying to find a following. At the Conference level, we nominate and elect a President for the Conference UMM organization, whereas UMW elects their own officers. Why? Because there are – or used to be – masses of ordinary women behind UMW, whereas there are almost no men involved in UMM. Over half the successful (i.e., still meeting) men’s groups in local UM churches don’t bother to charter with GCUMM. Up until I resigned in order to transfer to the GMC, I loyally participated as the Scouting rep on the Conference UMM Board. There was a President, a Secretary, a Treasurer, ONE District President, and me. Our meetings were duly recorded in minutes, there were devotions, but there was basically no business to transact, no plans to make. The Conference UMM organization is dead, but won’t admit it. What to make of this? What are the lessons to be learned? 1) UMM suffers from a simple problem. There is no such program. GCUMM does not provide any guidance on what makes a men’s group uniquely “United Methodist.” There is no meeting format, no program, no spiritual technique, no egg to be added to the box mix. When GCUMM promotes things in their Board meetings or at their big national gatherings, all the things they promote are by third-party vendors: Iron Sharpens Iron, Society of St. Andrew, etc. So when you suggest to a local men’s group meeting in a congregation that they should affiliate with the national org, you get utter disbelief. If GCUMM disappeared tomorrow, it would deprive the local unit of nothing of value. 2) A successful Conference program of Men’s ministry must be built on a foundation of local men’s ministry. The Conference can offer retreats and rallies at a level beyond the local church, but nominating a slate of officers to lead without gathering the tribe to ratify them is merely building a ghost organization. Men having a good experience in a local church might gather at a district of conference level to find more of the same. They might elect officers to keep them gathered and pursue goals that interest them that they might all participate in or contribute to. But this all has to come from below. Top-down leadership can’t create the followers, and therefore isn’t leading anything. 3) This means that the essential thing we need to do is to ask, What makes a successful and rewarding men’s ministry in the local church? Men like to do business over food, but we need something more than a meet-and-eat. What is that something? And if that something is to identify as “Global Methodist Men” or some such, what program, goal, spiritual technique, meeting format, or what-have-you is the GMC offering that we should structure our group around it? I don’t have the answers in this field; I was always primarily a Scouter, not a Men’s ministry guy. But I’ve been around the field long enough to ask the important questions. We need to get people together who both love men’s ministry and understand the vision of the GMC for the local church. THOSE people might come up with something that would succeed. But replicating the frustrations and inadequacies of UMM in a new denomination is a waste of everybody’s time.