Stuff and nonsense

The first quatrain of this came easily. The rest took a bit of work.

THE PUBLIC INTELLECTUAL
(with apologies to William S. Gilbert)

I am the very model of a public intellectual
I have solutions that are guaranteed to be effectual
I’m syndicated, educated, compensated to the max
And my opinions are to be regarded simply as the facts

For interviews on TV I am always quite available
My propositions always are completely unassailable
I scorn the opposition from a height that is unscalable
Hmm . . . unscalable, unscalable . . . aha!
By those whose retrogressive folly is beyond-the-Pale-able!

I publish books on every topic that is currently in vogue
When serving in the government I cannot help but play the rogue
Administrations come and go but I hang on, perpetual
I am the very model of a public intellectual