aefenglommung (aefenglommung) wrote,

Pronoun Trouble

Bugs: Be quiet. He doesn't have to shoot you now.
Daffy: He does so have to shoot me now. To Elmer: I demand that you shoot me now!
After the shotgun blast, they run through it again.
Daffy: Aha! That's it! Aside:Pronoun trouble.

Choosing your own personal pronouns on campus is the latest craziness foisted upon our weary society by the self-absorbed. Just at the point where English is as stripped down and easy as it's ever been, we've got people who want to re-complicate it. I say, let's show 'em what a really complicated set of pronouns looks like. Let's adopt the whole personal pronoun system of Old English!

Which follows.

First person pronoun, Singular number ("I"):
Nominative, ic
Genitive, min
Dative, me
Accusative, mec, me
Dual number ("we two"):
Nominative, we
Genitive, ure
Dative, us
Accusative, usic, us
Plural number ("we all"):
Nominative, we
Genitive, user, ure
Dative, us
Accusative, usic, us

Second person pronoun, Singular number ("you"):
Nominative, þu
Genitive, þin
Dative, þe
Accusative, þec, þe
Dual number ("you two"):
Nominative, git
Genitive, incer
Dative, inc
Accusative, incit, inc
Plural number ("you all"):
Nominative, ge
Genitive, eower, iower
Dative, eow, iow
Accusative, eowic, eow, iow

Third person pronoun, Singular Masculine / Feminine / Neuter ("he, she, it"):
Nominative, he / heo, hie / hit
Genitive, his / hiere, hire, hyre / his
Dative, his / hiere, hire, hyre / him
Accusative, hine / hie, hi, hy / hit
Plural number ("they"):
Nominative, hie, hi hy; heo, hio
Genitive, hiera, hira, hyra; heora, hiora
Dative, him; heom
Accusative, hie, hi, hy; heo, hio

See, it's easy! Let's all do this together. Better yet, let's make all the students learn it or flunk.

Spreading enlightenment with a trowel, that's me.

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