Number One:
Getting from one side of Bloomington to the other is a pain.
Getting from one side of Bloomington to the other at 5:00 o'clock is a pain in the butt.
Getting from one side of Bloomington to the other at 5:00 o'clock on a Friday is a pain in the butt on top of hemorrhoids.
Getting from one side of Bloomington to the other at 5:00 o'clock on a Friday on a holiday weekend is a pain in the butt on top of hemorrhoids where the only toilet paper on hand should be labeled "medium grit."
