aefenglommung (aefenglommung) wrote,

Anybody else remember this one?

I have been looking for this old MAD nursery rhyme for years. I remember it from my early adolescence. Found it quoted, from memory, on some list of comments somewhere.

Melvin, Norman and Fred one night
Sailed off in a garbage scow,
Sailed down the river of floating blight
With coffee grounds on the prow.

Where are you going
and what do you want?
the Coastguard asked the three.
We have come in search of the city dump
Where a thousand rats run free.
Stuff that's rancid and ripe have we,
Said Melvin, Norman, and Fred

The Coastguard scowled and searched the three
As they rocked in the garbage scow.
They found smuggled guns in kegs marked tea
And contraband in the prow.
We wonder who could have put that stuff there,
Surely it wasn't we,
So whimpered aloud the smugglers three,
Melvin, Norman, and Fred.

Melvin and Fred are at Leavenworth
and Norman's on the rock,
The garbage scow has a lovely birth
In custody at the dock.
Melvin's due out this coming fall
And Fred in '23.
Norman...he tried to go over a wall
But a guard just happened to see
And that was the end of 1/3 of the three,
Melvin, Norman, and Fred.

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